Fathers Day

Found this letter from a wise father to his son on the internet.. excerpt that most appealed to me posted here

My only expectations of you are that you live a happy life, and make the most of every day. Do what you enjoy. A man who does not enjoy his work is a laborer. A man who utilizes his talents in his work is fulfilled. Don’t compare yourself to other people. If you do, you will always find greater.. and you will always find lesser. So what’s the point

I have always believed that a man’s destiny begins with his thoughts. Someone once said: “Your thoughts can become your actions. Your actions can become your habits. Your habits can become your character. And your character will become  your destiny.” So think good thoughts, and everything else will fall into place.

Advertisements

Vivu update

Baby Vivu is a delight and is now excited about everything related to fire engines and firemen – he puts on his Fireman’s costume every single day​ ​and then assures​ ​everyone around to not worry as he will save them in case of a fire. He then runs around the house dowsing fires. In​ ​the mornings, he insists that I take him to​ ​his school via a​ ​circuitous route that passes a fire station, just so he can see the​ ​fire engines​ ​parked in front. He says “papa pleeeease take me from​ ​there” and when I ask him “why?” and that “we will be late for school”, he ​s​ays “because it makes me soooo…​ ​happy :)” which melts my heart and, like a fool, I spend the​ ​10 mins​ ​extra.

He’s making and losing friends very fast too..it seems it is a phase kids go through at this stage.. I am considered to be in his friends circle. When he is loving me, he responds to my question “baby Vivu who’s papa’s favourite baby?” with a happy “Vivaaaaan”. And when he’s upset at me for any one of many random reasons, he turns around and tells me “you aren’t my friend anymore” – like this morning when I didn’t agree to continue cuddling and sleeping with him past 7am 🙂

Day 15: let’s call it done

Milk intake has come down below 10oz /day. The night wars have come to and end, at least as far as drinking milk goes. He seems to be happy with few ounces of water at around 6am.

Making him aware that it’s time to sleep is easy. The routine is for us to say goodnight to everyone around and then say “it’s time to sleep now”. We head to the bedroom. He points to the crib, I ask him if he wants to sleep in it, he shakes his head to tell me “no” and then runs and climbs on to the bed. We read a few books together. After that, I run through a round of good nights from all the characters of the particular story, turn off the lights, after which he turns around and goes to sleep – which takes another 15 mins or so.

Night routine too seems to have stabilized. After he’s asleep, I put him in his crib. He sleeps peacefully till around 1am or so, and then wakes up. Either comes to my bed, or if I am downstairs watching TV, he comes outside into the corridor and makes his presence known by fake crying.

Putting him back to sleep is a simple matter of holding him for 5 mins or so. I either let him sleep in the bed or put him back into the crib, where he sleeps till 6 or 7 and then the new day begins.

The next set of projects

  • align on a bed time routine, get him to sleep quickly in his crib, and then have him sleep through the night
  • get him to start talking

There’s light at the end of the tunnel…

7/13 – Day 6

The strong demands for “dudu” in the night are ebbing. However I need to get him to stay in his crib.  It’s not clear why he wakes up around 3am. And then wants to come into my bed to then go to sleep.

7/14 – Day 7

I am woken up at 3am by a little boy trying to get onto the bed. He’s walked by himself to the bed this time. The toddler bed has a small opening, I imagine, just for this. No yelling this time.

Typically if someone were to wake me up at 3am I would show intense irritation, and justifiably so. This interruption however feels strangely endearing. The marvels of parenthood!

He’s on the bed now and yelling for milk. I tell him “no dudu” to which he reacts by pouting and trashing his hands on my stomach. This needs to end, so I give him the bottle with 4oz of water. He drinks it and is fast asleep! This is seeming to be more about habit  than about milk.

Pick him up from school. I give him water and a cookie.  He gulps down around 4 (water bottle) caps full of water, pours a few more on himself, polishes off the cookie and sighs contentedly. The car ride back home is *very* peaceful.

Again, doesn’t  look like it’s a milk issue – a small snack seems to do the trick as well. I  being to wonder if the “milk habit” is our own doing motivated by convenience. Isn’t taking the simpler path really the cause of all problems? 🙂

Dinner: refusing to eat. Tried for a bit and give up – feeling a little guilty feeding him pasta and salmon every day! Decide to make him a smoothie – he insists I put it (“juice”) in the Bodybuilding.com shaker bottle. I make extra so I can have some too.. that doesn’t happen. He polishes off the entire thing >> put video here

7/15 – Day 8

What’s up with him waking up every day at the dot of 3am?

Dinner: not excited about having dinner.  After putting flour all over his head, took to his usual exercise of taking all the grains out of the cabinet on to the floor.

iPad app for Animal sounds. Seems to enjoy it. Took a long time ego fall asleep –  tossing and turning all over the bed. Night relatively calm

7/16 – Day 9

Woke up at around 1am and then again  – moved him to the crib once he was asleep and then he was out for the night. Looks like the problem is he isn’t able to put himself back to sleep.

Need to start working on a night time routine for him.

Journey continues Day 3-5

Day 3: His first Dry diaper day and “upset” redefined

I welcome his first dry diaper wake up day! No drama last night other than the usual 1-2 wake ups and the move to the bed. I wake him up at 7 am. He’s not fully done with sleep, but it is school day.

After school he is ready to have his milk and lets it be known. With great difficultly I put him in the car seat and buckle him up. He’s in his element now: starts yelling and keeps at it all the way home. That’s approximately 20 mins. He’s furiously banging his head to the car set back. Once that’s done he’s going side to side with hands flying. I am thinking I should have tightened his seat belt more.

He hits his hand to the car door hard. Yelps in pain and the decibel level of the crying goes up a notch. He decides to give the hand a rest and starts shaking his head rather strongly from side to side and around the axis of his neck. This is getting worrisome; I am having a hard time focussing on the driving. At the red light, I stop and look back at him. There’s snot all over his face! The vigorous head shaking and banging seems to have done a “neti” cleanse on him.

I am glad to get back home. I park the car, take a stabilizing breadth, and gladly hand over Mr. Mad to Lourdes with a sigh of relief. It takes me another hour to recover from the drive.

Thankfully the transition to bed later in the night is uneventful. He’s enjoying the zoo book!

Day 4: Chotu has a toddler bed now

The early morning drill of his coming to the bed continues. It’s a mystery why he gets up every 2-3 hours. I am not comfortable with him getting upset while he’s in the crib, as he might decide to jump over, but this time in anger, and hurt himself, so am happy to get him to the bed.

Problem though is that he’s getting big and strong now. I put him in the bed vertically, and in minutes he’s become horizontal with his legs digging and periodically jabbing into my mid section. He’s peacefully snoring, unaware that dear Daddy too needs to get his sleep. In the afternoon, I convert his crib into a toddler bed. My efficiency surprises me 🙂

Now even if he’s angry and decides to get off the crib, the fall is less than 1 feet (compared to around 4)

Day 5: Tables have turned

Today he wakes up at 3am and walks me to the mattress kept at the corner of the room on the floor. He wants to sleep on that now – the main bed doesn’t seem to be of much interest. We hang out together for 15 mins or so till he falls asleep, I put him into his crib, and wearily get onto my bed to get some sleep. Shouldn’t have watched that stupid movie till 2am!

6:30am Vivu, after a restful sleep with no demands made for milk, wakes up and comes to my bed, picks up the zoo book lying by the side of the bed and asks me to read it! That’s the last thing I want to do. I am hoping he goes back to sleep for at least an hour more. So I offer him 4oz of water, that I have hidden by the bed to be used in case of an emergency, in the hope that it will lull him to sleep.

He glugs down the water, remains wide awake, and pushes the book to me. I am not going to get much sleep today. Tables have indeed turned..

Dinner: while I cook, he’s gives me company by lying flat on the floor right next to my feet.

kitchen2

kitchen1

I have to constantly walk over him (which for some strange reason I am loving! – being a dad is turning out to be a happy surprise a minute).

He has taken a delight in taking a bite, turning his face to the side of the high chair, and spitting it on the floor. Not seen that before – which makes me wonder if it’s my food or if this is a phase he’s going through. A stern reprimand evokes a delightful bust of laughter. This cycle continues with subsequent tries.

hmm..

I am wondering what to do now and find myself getting irritated. I put the spoon down and sternly look at him. He coos, picks up the spoon, digs into the food, and start gobbling the pasta and salmon down! I am taken aback, but I quickly recover, and start helping him put the food in the spoon. In short order, the plate is empty.

Looks like he’s ready to start eating by himself.

It’s time to sleep and I tell him that we will read the zoo book. He squeals with delight and heads to the bedroom. He forgotten about his “dudu”. After a good conversation with the animals, he’s off to dreamland.

My chotu…

No milk – Day 2

1am

Vivu is up, half asleep and groggily asking from milk. I wonder if it’s simply a matter of habit, or is he cold? or if he really wants milk. It’s also clear he wants to be in the bed and not in his crib. He’s got this unique way of propping himself against the crib, crying with all his might, and with his left hand finger pointing to the bed. I decide to wage one war and give in on the other. I give him water, but get him to the bed 🙂 Cuddling with him is indeed delightful. Thankfully he drinks a little of the water and goes back to sleep. I would classify this as a win-win

5 am

He’s up again but this time yelling for milk. This time I need some sleep and also have a full work day ahead, so I weigh my options. I look at him and see a determined look on his face, screams coming out of his little body, and lots of tears in his eyes. I decide to give him 6 oz of milk. He follows me down the stairs crying, which magically stops the moment I give him the milk bottle. On the way back to be bedroom he holds my finger, guides me to the bed, demands that I lie down next to him, which he does by vigorously patting the area next to him, nuzzles into my side and puts his head on my shoulder, and hands me the bottle to feed him.

I feel like the 6oz is worth it 🙂 Had someone told me a few year back that I would be enjoying all this, I wouldn’t have believed them.

715am

The king has woken up. Diaper is a little wet but not soaked through and through. That is a welcome change, so I celebrate by hugging him tight.

11:30am

On the way back from school his demands for “dudu” start. I distract him by showing him the sights along the way and soon he’s cooing looking at garbage trucks and trees. The drive back home is calm.

Once back though, he remembers that he hasn’t seen any “dudu” yet, so he jumps out of the car, runs flailing towards the lawn and flings himself on the grass. He then starts thrashing both his hands down on the lawn clearly demonstrating his displeasure. All this while making loud demands for his beloved “dudu”.

I hand him a bottle of cold water. He is confused as the bottle is big, is of stainless steel and heavy, and there is no nipple. He proceeds anyway to tear away the cap, which he throws aside with great flair, and puts the mouth of the bottle to his mouth. Water gushes out and wets his face, tshirt and shorts. He’s stunned for a bit and is not sure what just happened. The cold water has the additional benefit of cooling him down and the mad behavior subsides for a bit. Thankfully Sonia has arrived. I give her strict instructions to not give him any milk and then beat a hasty retreat 🙂

10pm

Have delayed putting him to bed as much as possible. He’s seeming a little delirious trying to put the lego pieces together. I ask him to say goodnight to the kitchen, a cue for us to head to the bedroom, and he faithfully gets up and follows me up the stairs into the bedroom. I pick up a book to read to him and steel myself for the inevitable showdown. We settle down into the bed, and I walk him through all animals of the zoo, what sounds they make, and how they are all ready to sleep now. After 15 mins of this, I tell him that it’s time for him to sleep too. I push him off me, turn off the light, and start praying. He turns around, cuddles into the pillow and starts snoring! I pinch myself to be sure this really happened, which it did, put him into his crib and get ready to eat dinner and watch an episode of Breaking bad! I think I have deserved it.

I am optimistic tomorrow morning will be his first ever dry diaper wake up! See you then.

Tough love begins: no milk tonight – Day 1

9pm

Decided tough love needs to start sooner than later. Like tonight! Took him upstairs and asked him to sleep in his crib. Which he promptly refused with many vigorous shakes of his head and pointing to the bed. After trying unsuccessfully to convince him, decide to be a nice dad, so took him to the bed with 4oz of fat free milk. He gulped that down and then demanded more. Telling him it’s over prompted a loud fake cry. All right I said, 4oz more and that’s it. Another trip to the fridge and another 4 oz later our pal demands more. To which I said, tough luck buddy, and held my ground.

All hell broke loose.

After screaming his head off that he wants more, he started vomiting on demand. Frantically took him off the bed into the bathroom, but not till he had made his mark on multiple places on the carpet. Kept him in the bathroom, where he continue to show his displeasure by forcing stuff out of his stomach, while I got down to cleaning the carpet.

All right so we are at war.

Put him right back into the crib and told to him gently that milk is over. Not to be consoled he keeps yelling. I can see he getting a little tired. So I leave the room and stand outside. After 10 mins or so of screaming, I hear a gentle thud and our pal walks out of the room!

He’s jumped out of the crib. I cannot believe it. I have to see this. So I put him back into the crib but now stand there. He pulls himself by the side of the crib, puts one leg over the side, rolls his body and other leg over to the other side while tightly holding the rails and hangs so now his legs are dangling around 1 feet above the ground and finally jumps down. WOW!

This deserves an applause. But now I need to keep this in mind when the same episode will repeat in the middle of the night. I lovingly look at my athletic little baby and he glares back with hatred. He’s not done. Another round of vomiting happens. This time though there is real food coming out (the last round took care of the 8oz of milk!) Another frantic scramble to get him into the bathroom, but not till there are 3-4 places where salmon and lentils are displayed on the carpet.

I am afraid he will get dehydrated so I go down and get him a cold bottle of water. He follows me out, and is more disappointed when he sees me back – still with no milk. I p ut him back in the crib and tell him this is all he can have as the milk is over.

He goes into a rage, screaming away, shaking his head telling me he wants nothing to do with water; he now grabs hold of the bottle and flings it away. It bounces of f the crib headboard and lands by his feet. He again picks it up and flings in the other direction, but still cannot get it off the crib. This continues for another 10 mins or so.

He’s really getting tired now – eyes are red and the eyelids are laden with sleep. He can barely stand, so I force him down so now he’s horizontal. He doesn’t fight back. Doesn’t look like there much crying left in him. So I put the bottle to his mouth. Looks like he’s beyond caring. He drinks the water and then drops off exhausted to sleep in another 10 mins. He doesn’t even notice when I take the bottle off him. His night dress is a little dirty, but what the hell, it wouldn’t hurt him. I get down to cleaning the carpet the second time.

The episode lasts just more than an hour. Writing this takes another 45 mins, and is very therapeutic!

Now let’s see what the night has in store.

Chotu is getting to be heavy

I think everyone will get a chuckle out of this project, so sharing:

Goal:
1. get chotu off milk
2. get chotu to sleep through the night

5pm

Took Vivu to the doctor. He’s at 38lbs and off the chart for height vs weight. Height he’s in the 100th percentile. But weight off the charts. Doctor says he needs to stop milk/liquids in the night. Daily intake needs to get down below 12oz. As of now, he easily polishes off 35+o z of milk. – which logically is downright ridiculous. He’s fitting into 4T clothes and is not yet 2 years old. I think height wise he is doing fine, but we definitely need to control his weight. Tummy is becoming very big which I do not appreciate at all.